Monday, September 29, 2008

Parenting with Love OR Logic.

Parenting with love OR Logic should be the name of the game. So, which is it? Love or Logic. For example: When your 13 year old comes home, roots through the sacks on the counter, finds a decorative candle wrapped in tissue, opens it, smells it and then decides to light it. Seemingly innocent...except when the candle was intended as a birthday gift for a friend. Love tells me to dismiss it and perhaps buy a new candle for the friend. Maybe I should have left a sign out telling exactly what was in the tissue paper and the intended purpose of the candle. That's where I went wrong. Why should I expect my 13 year old to ask if she could light the candle? That's just silly. Definitely should have put up a sign. Logic tells me to smack her up-side the head and then stomp down to her room, root around in her personl effects, maybe finding an incriminating note from a friend detailing who has a crush on who, then innocently posting it on this very blog. That's logic for you. Tit for Tat. I guess the reason I am a little chapped about this is because I walked (pioneer-style, pushing a stroller with two other children hanging on, because my car battery was dead), in the heat and spent close to the last twenty dollars I had to procure the said candle on the very day of the friend's birthday!! JUST NOW - Josh walked in and said "Uhhhhhhh, like, uuuummmmm, when are WE going to have any money?" Is that a riot? I said "Uhhhhhhhhh, like, uuuummmmmm. what do you need?" He says. "Weeelllll, uuuuhhhhh. I just really NEED that one jacket at ABERCROMBIE!" Love - "Well honey, seeing as how Dad doesn't get paid until Friday, you will have to survive a few more days without it. Then on Friday, right after school, we will drive down to Gateway and grab that jacket for you. Is that going to be OK?" Logic - "Dude, IT'S FREAKING 90 DEGREES OUTSIDE. WHAT THE JUNK DO YOU NEED A NEW JACKET FOR ANYWAY? ANYHOW - GET A JOB AND GO TO YOUR ROOM!!" See how this works? Also, if you know anything about Love and Logic, you know that as your child grows, you are supposed to allow them more freedoms and more opportunities for growth. Right. I have completely screwed this up. My children are doomed. I started out with them making a lot of their own choices and having a lot of freedom. Now, they can't even go to the bathroom without asking permission. I even interrogate them after. Did you pee or poo? What color was it? Did you wipe? Did you wash your hands? I won't get any grosser than that. Needless to say, it seems like I am tightening my control, rather than helping them make more of the their own choices. I am sitting here laughing to myself because if these sentiments where to be read by a select few (Jon and Em or Misty and Lane) I would be much more graphic.
Why can't I be like other bloggers? Posting cute pictures and telling what we did for the Fourth or showing the cute sand castle we made in Florida? I need to change my ways. Sorry guys. It is Mrs. Nice Gal from now on. Love ya!!!!!

14 comments:

Shelley said...

Melissa...you need to change your background color so we can read your blog again! :) You wanna come over tomorrow so I can help you?

joel baby said...

http://joelbabysblog.blogspot.com/

thats my blog, it is pg-13 / r rated though.


jb

i dont really write on it very often. check out my youtube vid on their though. your boy will love it

Rachel said...

You are frickin' hilarious!!! Don't change!! Luv ya girl!

Marianne said...

Melissa, you're awesome! Makes me look forward to teenagers. And your kids really are good kids--I'm not saying that to be nice, I'm saying it because its true.

Rekehl Johnson said...

I feel your pain...and totally relate...

Linda Barton said...

Hey hot stuff! I like to parent with chaos and mahem. Or hellfire and damnation. Either has been successful through the years. Oh but wait! I forgot about tears and time-outs. Instead of a college fund for the kids i have a therapy fund so I can get better when they leave! Kids...Ya' gotta love 'em ('cuz you can't give them back!)

Jon and Emily said...

No!!! No Nice Gal! Stick with the truth, it's WAY funnier!!! And keep blogging, I LOVE it!!!

Jon and Emily said...

p.s. Cute page set-up! You're so PRO now!
p.s.s. You can't give me crap for "all because two people fell in love" and then sidebar "Live, Laugh, Love"!!! Equally cheesy!!!

Lane said...

No fair- look how fancy you are!!! You can blog how ever you want- it's fun to read!! Just make sure you do give me the uncensored version. (And Josh hands down his cool jackets) Love your guts!

Jill said...

Hi Melissa! Your blog rocks! who needs pictures when you have such great stories to tell? You are awesome!
I think you are a great Mom. I always think of your family as a close and fun one. Thanks for preparing us for the wonderful world of Teenagers. You are doing a great job and I can tell you really love your kids.

Carrie said...

Love or LogiC??? what are you talking about I am just trying to keep them alive.

(great post)

Big Kahuna said...

Why stop there? I have told you since we were kids to toughen up (although I do love the untough you). One thing I do need to know...what exactly is tat? How do I get it?...you know the rest. Love ya!

CrazyCow said...

Well mother, that candle was already open when i decided to light it thank you very much

carley :)

Jennifer Bradford said...

Dear Carley, You are a smart-butt. I would use more adult language, however, you are, afterall, only THIRTEEN. Be nice to your mother or Aunt Jenn will flex her twenty-two inch pythons, Hulk style.