Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Ben Button is hot, teenagers are snot and 4 year olds are caught.

Let's address first things first. I know that this blog is supposed to be about the Wood Family. Who's kidding who, right? It's really just Melissa whining and complaining and commenting on her own thoughts and feelings with a little bit of family trivia thrown in for good measure. (Makes me seem more motherly). Now that we have that established, let me just say BRAD PITT IS SO HOT!!!! I don't know why I never really saw it before. Well, he did look pretty cute in Thelma and Louise...Obviously, I went to see "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, rated PG 131/2. This is not a movie I would send any of my kids to, just so you know. So, I am watching this movie with some friends. About half-way through,when Ben Button is at his hottest, one of the friends looks at me and says "Damn that Angeline Jolie" I said "Amen to that". So not fair. Does she really deserve him? I mean, come on, she has multiple tattoos. Isn't that some sort of indication of the kind of person she is? I bet she doesn't even really like all those kids of hers. They are probably just for show. And, I bet she totally rides roughshod over Brad , like 24/7. Man... Okay, you all know that I am just kidding and I am just messing around about Ang and Brad. I guess I'm just trying to say that Brad is very handsome. Glad to get that off my chest.

Secondly - who invented teenagers? I know that I have complained multiple times about them and that I have been banned from "dissin'" them on this blog, but HELP! I am going out of my mind. They drive me crazy!

Thirdly - Autumn got caught with one of my non-shredded garments tops! As some of you may know, she likes the feel of the garment top, specifically the lace around the arm holes. She often times will have a cut-up one in her possession. Kind of like a blanket would be to a normal child. It is a comfort to her. (Am I saying too much?) Anyway, so that I don't end up in h-e-double hockey sticks, I cut up some of the older, non-useable ones for her to cuddle with at night. Well, the other day, we stopped at the bank of gumball machines in the mall. She insisted on a pink gumball, and was ready to fight if she didn't get one. She of course, had her blue denim purse and her pink Dora sunglasses, because that's what you need at the mall. Anyway, she said she had a "penny" to get some gum with in the bottom of her purse. When I went to help her open it, to my utter dismay, she had a full on, non-cut-up "g" top in her purse, along with a Disney Princess cell phone (complete with cover), chap-stick, nail polish, assorted small action figures, a naked Bratz doll and some marshmallows. Needless to say, she was caught red-handed with the goods. What do you do in this situation? I had to laugh. She looked up at me through those rose-colored Dora the Explorer sunglasses with a pleading look in her eyes, and I just couldn't be mad. Perhaps I should move my collection of the aforementioned articles of clothing to a location out of her reach! Hmmmm....that would require me to have a project. I'll think about it.

Have you ever noticed that I don't say too much about Erin and Elizabeth? I really don't mention them very much. Probably because, as of right now, they are behaving really well. Of course, there are the occasional outbursts and fights, but they really don't bug me or frustrate me or cause me any kind of grief. At least not out-of-the-ordinary kind of grief. I am sure that I can find something to complain about in the future. Well, have a great week! I hope your New Year is going well! See ya...

P.S. I really do love all of my kids dearly.
P.P.S I really do think I could love Brad Pitt!

8 comments:

Linda Barton said...

Autum's little under garment addiction is kind of cute, I think. I remember holding her as a baby and she slid her hand in my shirt to grab the "goods". Of course I mean the lacey "goods". hee-hee

I think there should be a program where parents can trade teenagers for a little while in the hopes that they will behave better for other people!

Just my opinion but I think you and Brad, another time, another place could have had something really beautiful. sniff,sniff

Marianne said...

Autumn is so funny. Maybe you could dye special g's for her, maybe pink? Then she wouldn't reach for the white ones? (just an idea). If you want, I will vote for you in the next life to also be married to Brad Pitt. (if polyg is still alive and well)

Shelley said...

Melissa, can I just say that I love reading whatever you write. You are so "freakin'" entertaining! I just read the RS newsletter this afternoon and I knew after about 2 sentences that you wrote it. So thanks. Maybe your witty personality can win Brad Pitt over!

Jen V said...

Melissa -
I found your blog through Lorenne's - I hope you don't mind.

It was so fun having Autumn over the other day - what a cutie! She is such a teenie tiny little punk! To me, she looks so much like the way I remember Mike and Emily looking (except the blond hair!) Lizzie and Erin are so cute too - when I dropped Autumn off I talked to them for a bit and they were so polite, respectful and funny. I saw a picture of Joshua and he looks exactly the way I remember Mike looking (again except the blond hair).

The teenage thing? Heaven help me! I am just trying to get through the infant/toddler years!! You should read my latest post... it's a doozy.

Being a Mom is such a challenging, thankless job - you just have to do your best and hope that is good enough!

Tell Owen, Janet, Misti and Emily that I said hello - it would be so much fun to reminisce about old times. I hope they are all doing well.

Let's keep in touch!

pretty silly woman said...

You are so funny, you funny woman! Have read your blog today and the comments. On Brad Pitt -- I'm older and have more insurance!!! And female polygamy is called polyandry. Give me that one with a side of bacon (or beef as the case may be). On Autumn and dying her special comfort items pink as someone suggests? You'd do better dying yours pink. She's never gonna give up the white ones! On teenagers, lotsa luck, Honey! Hugs and kisses -- MOM or WOW depending on how you look at things! kb

Jennifer Bradford said...

Meliss, Zoey does the strap thing too now. I think Autumn whispered in her ear at Christmas and told her that it really rules to repeatedly embarrass your mother in this way. I fear that these two are going to be cahooting for years to come.

Jennifer Bradford said...

Okay, one more thing. Mr. Pitt is kinda hot. I will admit. I have not seen Button, but I did see Burn After Reading, in which he plays a very goofy personal trainer and he is HILARIOUS! I recommend, although it is rated R. I have never seen him so funny.

The Big Kahuna said...

Now for a man's view...Just love your teenagers. Their brains will solidify again before you know it and you will have two new, wonderful friends. I realize that my experience with the a fore mention teens is limited to Young Men, but I think it translates. On Brad Pitt.. ho hum. Of course Mrs. Big Kahuna will confirm the I am, in fact the universal Alpha Male (just kidding). I do find Mr. Pitt to be rather humorous in Ocean's Eleven. Please keep writing, whining, whatever, and compile it into a book. You'll make a fortune. And one last thing...stick with Mike. He's as real as it gets.