It's been awhile

Hey friends and fam- sorry it has been so long since I have "blogged". As some of you know, Melissa is not the best at techy stuff, ie: my keyboard was broken and I couldn't make it work, so I finally broke down and bought a new one, which Josh thankfully set up for me. Anyhoo - not much to report. I have been forbodden to speak ill of the teenager types in my family, so I really don't have much to say except that I really hate Christmas shopping. That being said, I really don't have anything to say. Okay - I am never really at a loss, so let me step up on my soap box and talk about something I have really disliked my whole life, but have never really come forward with it: Christmas Letters. I am really sorry, I know I offend, but I just think they are, in the words of my beloved son, "really gay". This hatred started way back in the good old days, when my family (sibs and parents) lived out of state. We would get a lot of Christmas letters from friends and family touting the accolades and accomplishments of their various families and pets. It was irksome, at best. The Bradfords really didn't have much to crow about. Unless you consider the time when my brother Matt and I lit the ditch behind our house on fire, or after the Fourth of July, we searched the gutters and finally found an unlit bottle rocket (major treasure), or we could tell about the time my brother Joel cut off all his hair after just getting it cut in the cutest pageboy. The biggest accomplishment of my youth was knowing all of the words to all of the songs on the Frank Zappa "record" that my oldest brother Mark brought home (which we listened to only when the parents were out.) Maybe we could have included the fact that I looked stunning in my Wonder Woman Swimsuit (complete with gold belt) for three summers running. I don't think we ever threw that one away...I think it just disintegrated one day on my way home from the neighborhood swimming hole. Anyway, having to read about our cousins and friends and all of their wonderful lives somehow really stung. Not that I have any lasting scars or anything...What could be so bad? you say. Okay - you asked for it.
These are real statements from letters from real people sent to me at some point in my life:
1. This year our whole family, including our rare African cold water Gecko, achieved black belts in Tae Kwan Do. This has been such a spiritual and unifying experience for our whole family.
2. Our daughter danced Carla in the Nutcracker with Juliard School of Dance. She would have danced the Sugar Plum Fairy, but she is only six and the tutu was just a bit big.
3. We had our children learn Mandarin Chinese this year so that we could host foreign exchange students from China. It was slightly difficult for our 3 year old daughter, but she somehow managed and makes the cutest little face whenever she tells someone "Ni Hao".
4. We bought the new Cadillac Escalade for $50,000 under sticker price.

Do you see what I mean? There are exceptions though. Not every Christmas letter is horrible. Some are actually very sweet and creative. I love this kind. They make me smile. My sister in law Emily usually does an awesome Christmas letter. Also, my husband's colleague writes an entertaining letter. It is usually about 8 double sided pages long, but still intriguing. My challenge to you is to comment of some of the Christmas Letters you have received that are infuriating and/or endearing. I'm thinking of doing one and I need some ideas.

I hope you are all enjoying the Christmas season. I have sort of been enjoying it. I am sure that it will get better once it's over. Love to all!