Nighttime Shenanigans

I know this sounds "R" rated, but trust me it couldn't be further. So, you are probably all aware of my sometimes crazy nights. It has only intensified by the graduation of two of the children into teendom, one of whom gets crazy scared if he even looks at Tanner Johnson (the self-proclaimed king-of-the-neighborhood spook meister), the other of whom, let's call her "Marley" to protect her privacy, likes to wake me up to sign her French homework at midnight at least once a week, and who likes to believe that there is nothing wrong with a fourteen year old staying out till midnight on the weekends.
Anyway, so the last few weeks have been going well, with the occasional midnight snacking by he and a few visits by the headache mogul (otherwise known as Erin). So last night, I left Mike in charge of doling out the nightly medications, which I am now almost positive that he did not because of the following... at about 1:30 am, I am awakened by a very loud and persistent five year old desiring a leg rub down (which she doesn't need when she gets her meds). I get up, walk in and plonk down next to her and start rubbing. I rub until I feel like she is asleep, then go to have a handful of M&M's before returning to bed. She almost immediately senses my absence and starts yammering about wanting a drink. So , I go to the kitchen and start rooting through the cupboards to find and cup and she yells from her room "NOT A SMALL SIPPY CUP!!! A BIG ONE! (how did she know?) AND I DON'T WANT WATER OR CHOCOLATE MILK OR PINK JUICE! I WANT AN ORANGE JUICE WITH SPRITE MIXED IN, IN A LARGE SIPPY CUP WITH NO LID AND A BENDY STRAW!!!!" Whoa! Who the "H" does she think I am? A freaking COCKTAIL WAITRESS!?! She is ordering a freaking Mimosa from her bed at two o'clock in the morning! OK, I am not sure what goes into a Mimosa, but it does have something to do with orange juice. So, I bring her water in a small sippy cup with a lid. She freaks. "I WANTED A BIG CUP WITH ORANGE JUICE AND SPRITE!!" Meanwhile, Mike is laying in his comfy bed mumbling something about "Autumn, please be quiet, everyone is sleeping, do you want to come and lay by Daddy? Daddy will rub your back! Come on in and stop crying....blah, blah, blah" There is no way she can hear him because she is crying so loud, that only I can hear him and I can hear him because this is his typical behavior when it comes to Autumns nighttime shenanigans. I ask you, when will this end? When will Melissa get a good night's sleep? More importantly, when all the kids are gone, and Mike and I have separate sleeping arrangements, will I miss this? Will I ever be able to sleep for an entire night? I don't know. I don't think I want to know. Anyway, you see the problem. So, Mike is persuasive from the comfort of his warm bed, and she decides she wants to "snuggle with Daddy in his bed", which means " I want to sleep with my feet in Mommy's face all night long, and not even touch Daddy's side of the bed." So, she comes in and of course, Mike is back to sleep in like three seconds and she proceeds to make herself comfortable which means that I "sleep" with one foot on the floor no blankets to speak of.
Now, you might ask yourself, "Why doesn't she just make Mike get up and take care of it? OR "Why doesn't she just shut Autumn's door and let her cry it out?" The answer is of course that I am a push-over of the worst kind. I didn't want to bug Mike because he works so hard and he was getting up at 4AM to go hunting with his Dad. I didn't want Autumn to keep crying because, I can't stand it when my kids cry, so I will do whatever it takes. The sad thing about all of this is that I don't do it from the goodness of my heart. I do it so that the boat doesn't get rocked too much. I piss myself off. Anyway, hope you enjoyed my little tale of woe. I sure there will be more to come.